


The singer

by Tuni



Category: Mamamoo
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-11
Updated: 2018-10-18
Packaged: 2019-03-16 18:52:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13642383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tuni/pseuds/Tuni
Summary: A young woman struggles between her passion for singing and making her dreams come true while a different kind of passion is rapidly groing inside of her and making her lose all control...





	1. The first time

**Author's Note:**

> It’s been so difficult for me to find good Moonsun fanfictions (that don’t involve vampires and demons…) cause I’m not that into AU fics. but then I thought you know what why not write one myself? I’ve never written anything about two real people before and I’ve never even shipped 2 real people before but what can I say? Moonsun are special I guess XD  
> This is gonna be a slow burn so please bare with it  
> The story will mostly be from Solar’s POV

Do you know that feeling when you’ve had a dream, something you’ve wanted so badly for so long but for some reason you’ve been chained and weighed down by something?

At first you try to cope with your chains, live your life with their burdening presence, you tell yourself that you’re strong enough to put up with it but the more time goes the more your hunger for your “dream” grows until comes a point where you simply can’t take it anymore and when that happens it’s not you that breaks it’s your chains and a thousand more can’t hold you back anymore.

I’ve been through this twice in my life and I might be going through my third time.

Let me tell you about my first time…

I’ve always dreamed of being a singer, standing on a vast stage, sharing my voice with a sea of people I’ve always craved that feeling more than anything. During my teenage years where all my girl friends where gushing over and daydreaming about the cutest boys and how to land dates with them I simply laughed at them for I didn’t understand what the fuss was all about. But I did have my own share of daydreaming myself and whenever you would see me head in the clouds you could be sure it was about one thing and one thing only: singing.

My parents on the other hand had a different idea. They wanted me to finish my studies, go to university and get a degree in a respectable field. And of course that meant that they were having none of my talk about singing or becoming an idol. It was simply out of the question.

And as much as I craved that dream I also craved their love and approval and was completely horrified by the thought of disappointing them or not living up to their expectations.

But like I said earlier there comes a point in your life where “blowing up” is inevitable and suddenly you don’t care about anything or anyone in the world anymore, your dream becomes the only priority and you would do absolutely anything it takes to make it come true.

And that is how I finally made the first meaningful step in my career: becoming a trainee for RBW.

 

And that’s when I first saw you...


	2. You

And then I saw you.

You with your charming smiles, your messy bangs and your delicate porcelain doll face that contasted your boyish aura. And as cliché as it might sound it felt like my heart skipped a beat, or several. I immediately felt immensely drawn to you and from that point onwards I developed a habit of observing you from afar, ever so discreetly. I never talked to you or approached you, for I knew it was dangerous. I knew you were dangerous.

But I did watch you. I watched you practice, I watched your interactions with the others, and how you always seemed to be flirting with the other girls. It didn’t make me jealous I enjoyed seeing you smile with them or seeing the way your eyes lit up with amusement whenever they got shy or too flustered.

Little by little I started collecting small details about you and loving every single one of them: the way you dance, the way you sing, the way your nose crinkles when you smile, your beautiful hands, your eyes...everything.

 

I remember how happy I was when you first approached me asking me if I could lend you a pair of shoes for practice but at the same time I didn’t want you to approach me just like a defense mechanism because I knew you were dangerous for me.

And then you had to go and address me rudely probably not noticing that I was your senior. I knew that I had a youthful face and that some people could easily make that mistake. But somehow I locked that information in the back of my head and got really upset at the way you were talking to me. And it soon broke into  a fight between the two of us. What a start!

Now that I think about it I was probably looking for an excuse to push you away because I was both so mad at you and so scared of the way you made me feel.

 

Little by little the number of trainees started to reduce and us becoming a band was inevitable so I knew I couldn’t keep this wall between us any longer. I had to do the mature and professional thing and try to get along with you if we were going to make a team. I knew I was the problem so I had to lower my defenses and let you have a step in for the sake of the band, for the sake of my dream.

Before I even knew it we were all living together and you and I started becoming more and more close, almost like best friends...but not quite like it. And again I knew it was me, I knew I was the problem for I got way too excited every time the tip of your fingers brushed ever so slightly against mine, every time we maintained eye contact for a bit too long or every time you would start jokingly flirting with me. And I both loved it and hated it at the same time. I loved the way it made my heart flutter every single time and I hated that it was all just jokes and fun to you while for me it meant the world. You, meant the world to me.


	3. Back and forth

It’s a couple of years after our debut that I finally realise I’m in too deep water now to be able to step back or do anything to remediate to it. You’re my best friend and we’re practically inseparable. Your presence has become an indispensable part in my life and I know for sure now that even if we were to separate one day you will always be part of me, no matter how much time goes you will always have a place in my heart.

 

Sometimes I wonder if it’s only me or if you also feel the same way. Sometimes, by the way you hold my hand so tightly, the way you gaze at me so deeply, the way you kiss my cheek so gently, it almost feels like you love me too.

Sometimes when I touch myself at night thinking of you I wonder if you also think about me when you’re trying to pleasure yourself and the thought of it makes me ever so aroused. But then shame always rushes over me as I remember that you’re my best friend after all and it’s wrong of me to think of you in that manner. But I can’t help it, I can’t help but go crazy over the thought of your hands on me, all over me.

Sometimes the idea of sharing all of my hidden thoughts and desires with you grazes my mind. We’re best friends after all and we’re supposed to tell each other everything but I know that and I can never forget that too much is at stake for me to act so irresponsibly; Our friendship is at stake, the cohesion of the band is at stake if anything goes wrong between the two of us, our image as artists is at stake if people were to find out, my dream is at stake.

So I tell myself that I’m strong enough, that I will be able to put up with this no matter what.

 

I remember that night we all went out for drinks together right before I started shooting for “We got married”. You were being a bit too clingy that night, well you always were the affectionate type but maybe more than usual this time. A part of me had hoped you were maybe jealous but a different part in my mind was scared of that thought. How would I be able of dealing with the knowledge that you want me as much as I want you? No things are easier this way with my love being unrequited. So I run away from that thought...Even when your hand lingered for a bit too long on my thigh or when I thought you were going for a kiss on the cheek but you kissed my neck instead and my ears turned so red I had to go out for some fresh air.

Hyejin seemed to realise what was going on, I was hoping the girls wouldn’t notice but the both of them seemed aware of everything. I suspected they did for a long time now but the confirmation that they knew made me feel even more uncomfortable and embarrassed. It made me wonder what it made them think of me, if it made them look at me differently and if they really noticed then maybe you have too...Suddenly I was feeling too self conscious but as I was lost in my thoughts Hyejin suddenly put me out of my misery when she got up pushed you over and sat between the two of us pretending like nothing was wrong. I was grateful to her for that as I decided to go along with it and pretend like she knew nothing because there was nothing to know.

The rest of the evening went seemingly quiet well it’s never really quiet when it comes to the four of us but there were no further incidents. That is until we all said our goodbyes to each other and you and I decided to share a taxi since we were going the same way.

It was a really nice summer night; the weather was warm enough, I was drunk enough and  the sweet summer breeze felt nice on my face as I was looking through the window. Then I made the mistake of looking at you. Your bangs were falling messily on your face, your pink lips slightly parted and your eyes were shut, I don’t know if you fell asleep or if you were just resting your eyes but you looked so pretty. I felt so tempted to kiss you at that moment but I was too scared that the taxi driver might see me or even worse recognise us. So I  took your hand instead, slowly brought it to my lips and put a kiss on its back. I take a look into your direction and your eyes are open now, so you weren’t asleep after all. The look in your eyes is full of tenderness and I knew you loved me too at that moment .

I couldn’t help but hold your gaze as I put your hand down without letting go of it. You seemed aware of the taxi driver as well, as you broke our eye contact in order to look in his direction for a moment. But you didn’t pull your hand away from mine, instead you held into it as you caress it with your thumb without saying a word. After a long moment of silence like that you finally pulled your hand away and I felt so disappointed at the sudden lack of contact, but you placed it on my thigh and started caressing my skin. My breath caught in my throat at the touch but I tried to keep my cool, then you started drawing small circles with your fingers and it didn’t take long at all for me to start losing my cool again. I looked at you looking for some answer in your face but you weren’t looking in my direction pretending as if nothing was going on but something WAS going on: your hand was going higher under my skirt and instead of stopping it I close my eyes and unconsciously spread my legs a bit to make things even easier for you as I’m getting more an more aroused.

Your hand is now roaming into dangerous territory as it’s climbing higher and higher and I lean into it letting you know know that I’m giving you permission to keep on going so you quickly get the hint and start massaging my vagina through my underwear, you can probably feel how wet it is just from this but I don’t care at all, in fact I want you to know how wet I’am just for you. A small gasp escaped my lips as you put pressure on my clitoris and you suddenly stoped. I opened my eyes and I saw you looking into the drivers direction a bit startled, and it all hit me right at that moment: where I was, what was happening and with whom. A feeling of panic took over me  and you seemed to notice as the first words that came out of your mouth were “it’s ok don’t worry...Everything is ok”  but it’s too late...I tell the driver to stop as I’m almost home anyway and I burst out running out of the car as if I were chased by some monster.

As soon as I get home, I close the door behind me and drive my hand under my underwear, the feeling of your hand that was there just minutes ago still leaving it hot and bothered. It only takes a few strokes for me to come hard as I slide down the door breathing heavily...


	4. Away from you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Angst is coming ahead!

You’ve been trying to talk to me about it ever since. Texting me, finding little openings where you and I would be alone without Wheein or Hyejin or any of the staff members. And I, have been trying to avoid it at all costs because what would I tell you Byulyi? That I am indeed madly in love with you and that I’ve never ever loved someone this much in my entire life? so much that it scares me Or that I have indeed craved your touch, your feel on me for so long? and yet...I don’t want to be with you

Or maybe I would lie to you and say that I never wanted any of this, never wanted you. But I never was that good at lying and you always were exceptionally good at figuring me out.

I just realised that not knowing was much easier, that way I could always tell myself that you probably didn’t feel the same way and there was no chance of us actually being together, but now that I know, now that being with you is an actual possibility it’s become so hard for me to stay away and not simply reach my hand and get what I’ve been wanting for so long.

 

Keeping myself busy with WGM and the album promotions has been a tremendous help. At least that way I’m either too busy or too tired to think or you.

Sometimes I would catch you stealing glances at me and pretend I wasn’t aware of your gaze. You would always either look like a hurt puppy afterwards or an angry one and my heart would break at both. I always thought that I would do absolutely anything to keep you from any hurt and yet here I am, becoming the source of your hurt myself.

 

Everytime Eric that touches me or holds my hand and I am feeling so repulsed by it I’ am reminded by how much I crave your touch instead. I am a professional I can keep smiling or at least keep a straight face and roll with it, all of it. But there is a breaking point to everything and I feel like I might be nearing mine once again. Being away from you, not being able to talk to you like we usually do and having to stand another person’s touch for so long is becoming so much. So much that I would sometimes cry behind the cameras and no one would know any better.

 

Before our trip to Dubai I had to call you on the phone, to tell you to watch over the dog since my sister is out of town as well. But really I could’ve asked Wheein or Hyjin to do it or simply keep it at my parent’s, really I was just looking for an excuse to hear your voice. Being the sweet comprehensive person that you are you play along with it and gladly accept to take care of jjing jjing.

The trip to Dubai turned out to be one of the worst if not the worst trip I took in my entire life, I was mentally and physically exhausted and the show was trying everything they could to get something out of our last drops as “a couple” in other words they were desperate to get something to happen between Eric and I. While I simply was desperate to get done with it all, I was sick of pretending and being in this foreign setting surrounded by nothing but strangers only made me crave my comfort zone my friends and my byulie even more. I was missing her so much I thought I could die.

 

The second it all ended and I was finally on a plane to Korea I felt as happy and as relieved as if I was just freshly let out of prison.

Opening the door to my apartment I am welcomed by my cute Jjing jjing, a most pleasant welcome.I pet her and kiss her for a bit before putting my bags in my room and heading to the bathroom for a shower.

Once I am alone and naked under the shower and the hot water touches my skin, I feel finally at ease. Like I'm finally free and relaxed after being caged for so long and I can’t help but let it all out; I start crying heavily and I can’t even tell if I’m crying out of sadness or joy when suddenly I get startled by a knock on the door and a familiar voice.

 

"Yong...is everything alright?"


	5. The second time

Yong?...Is everything alright?” Your voice sounds worried

 

My heart starts beating so hard, I wasn’t expecting myself to see you so soon…

When I say nothing you speak again

 

“I came to feed Jjing jjing and take her for a small walk...I didn’t know you would be back so soon why didn’t you tell me?”

 

I haven’t even thought of what I was going to do about you, I need to think fast but I can’t think of anything to say and my heart keeps on beating so fast and all I want is to see you so badly, I simply can’t bring my mind to think or form any words.

.

.

.

“Are you...are you mad at me or something?”

 

God no! oh god no don’t you think that don’t you feel guilty for a second, I rush out of the shower so fast I almost trip, put on a towel and run to open the door.

 

You seem taken aback for a second at the brutal way I open the door and unconsciously take a step back but I follow you fast as I throw myself on you wrapping both my arms around your neck in a tight embrace. After you get over your initial shock, you hug me back and say nothing for a while then you finally break free from the tight embrace taking my hand into yours and leading me to the couch where we both sit face to face.

“What’s wrong Yong?” you ask me with a concerned face

“Nothing” I answer but my voice betrays me cracking at the end

This only helps making you even more worried and you scoot closer to me as you put both hands around my face “Did something happen? What happened? Tell me”

I shake my head and I finally try to summon the courage to say it, what I have been feeling for you all this time but words just won’t come out of my mouth as I try to form a sentence, the only thing that I manage to say is “I..I…” then I hug you again burying my face in the crook of your neck. We stay like that for a while until I forget myself completely in you and I don’t want it to ever end, in fact I want to be even closer to you, I keep trying to get so close to you that I’m half straddling your lap now, I put a small kiss on your neck and you shudder a little at the contact then even more as I whisper in your neck “I’m in love with you”…”I’m in love with you Byulie” you hug me even tighter as you hear these words and completely lost in the moment and in you I keep on putting small kisses on your neck, your jaw line, and then a peck on your lips. It feels surreal at first so I have to kiss you again to make sure this is real, I pull back a little to check on your reaction but you quickly claim back my lips again and it feels so good, so right that neither of us want to let go anymore. After a while, even without us realizing it the kiss had turned more heated, your sweet tongue had found its way inside of my mouth and I was unconsciously grinding myself against you until my towel came unfolded.

Once we have to pull back for breath you finally notice that I’m almost naked sticking this close to you and you suddenly blush at the sight of my breasts unsure if you should look or avert your gaze away. I find your sudden flustered state both amusing and endearing but I know exactly the answer to your cause of confusion “I want you to look at me I want you touch me” I say as I gently put two fingers under your chin and redirect your gaze towards my breasts. There is a feral look in your eyes, one that I had always hoped one day I would get a chance to see and it arouses me even more. You kiss me again but with much more hunger and passion this time and everything becomes a complete mess from that point onwards. Teeth are clashing, hands are grabbing at every body part they can reach, at some point your mouth leaves my neck and settles on one of my breasts instead, still straddling your lap I put my arms around your neck and pull you even closer. It’s insane how the more I’m getting the more I’m needing. At some point in the middle of that haste I put my hand on one of yours that are on my hips and I guide it down to my burning heat. You start by stroking me gently and I swear I almost came at the sudden touch, you lift your head to face me up and I shudder at the sight of the lust in your eyes. As my eyes are locked with yours you slide two fingers inside of me and the pleasure is just too much, too intense that I feel like I’m going to die from it. You keep thrusting your fingers in and out of me, your other hand still on my hip keeping me in place but it doesn’t take too long, in fact it doesn’t take long at all before I come hard all over your hand as you gently kiss and bite on my shoulder.

You pull your fingers out of me and rest your forehead on my shoulder the both of us breathing heavily. It all happened in such a haste that I still can’t fully realize what just happened. I guess years of self restraint and sexual frustration are only bound to end in such a mess and what a mess!

As we both slowly recover I hesitantly look down at you and I immediately turn red as tomato both at facing you after what just took place and for my…slightly…well reaching my destination a bit too fast. But you seem content, really really content. In fact I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this happy and it’s as if it were contagious I immediately feel overwhelming happy myself and I thought I would never feel this happy in my entire life but I was proven wrong just about five seconds later when you leaned in to plant a small kiss on my lips and right after said with a smile

“Me too”

I’m confused for a moment as I ask “What?”

You laugh at my dumbfound expression and say “I’m in love with you too Yeba”

My heart almost jumps out of my chest and I start laughing as well small tears beginning to form in my eyes but they are tears of joy that much I know for sure. I put both hands on each side of your face kissing you again and again and it doesn’t take long before the sweet kisses of joy turn into something a little more heated after all there is no way either of us is going to get enough of being with each other after just that one fast encounter. I finally break the kiss and stand up taking your hand to put a kiss on it before guiding you to my bedroom. There we make love again and again until the moon sets room for the sun…


End file.
